Endorphins.

If someone scrolls down my list of blog posts, they would soon lose interest.I mean, how long would you tolerate someone who's incessantly talking about trying to get better at things? Anyway, I believe it has a reason. Writing about these things acts as a big motivational tool for me.No matter how much you love doing something, periods come when you need a push.And my post is again treading on familiar territory.The path was never supposed to be easy.

I've become a recluse. Socially. I don't know how many Bengalis are there, who don't feel elated during Durga Pujas, the biggest festival in our region.I am one of them. DP is always meant to be fun, going out with friends,rating girls,having junk food, maybe liking someone in the Puja mandap ( as they show magnificently in the coca cola ad),getting drunk ( which is an absolute necessity for so many) and so on.But, over the last few years, it didn't seem to matter much. Infact, over the last couple of years, if i had to jot down a list of things which really mattered, it would be really short.Unconditional love.Never a myth. Trust me.

The challenge was always to become unique and make a difference.Not consciously.I have a natural aversion in thinking about things the normal,or should i say, the popular way. Yet, i always believe a large part of being unique lies in commonness itself. " I would rather feel pain than nothing at all. " -- it's one of my favourite lines from one of my favourite songs.

Worldly issues. Is Julian Assange going to stay in house arrest forever? Is Roger Federer going to be assasinated? How did Goldman Sachs cause the food crisis? yeah, right.I have views.so? nobody gives a rats ass if you can't contribute to a cause or change things. Plain awareness does not help. That is what they don't tell you. It's as good as being an ignorant fool.Life isn't supposed to be this way.Freedom is way too much overrated.

Ample proof of a muddled up mind.Cold Turkey without heroin? Shoot.Maybe I'm unique after all.