Au Revoir....

This will be a short post.my internet subscription ends in a day's time and with exams looming large,i don't plan to renew it.There are are many juicy topics to write on now.


1.THE DINNER--of course you know what i am referring to.the State dinner.while inflation rates are reaching a record high and our life is paralysed by Bandhs due to even more paralysing hike in price of goods,our Prime Minister is feasting upon prawns at Washington.Its disgusting.


2.26/11--i pay homage to all the victims of the unfortunate incident.but i'm not sure if really did care.the mob speak about it when its on news 24x7...and then they forget.it's ridiculous to blame security reasons and even more ridiculous to assess if things are getting better.if mumbai was lax,what about madrid,london,or the WTC?...terrorism will continue and unless they decide to call it a day,we would not be able to stop it in the wider perspective.'A WEDNESDAY' is only a movie.


3.FIFA 09--i have started my season as the manager of manchester united.halfway through the season,i'm 5 points clear of chelsea at the top.so its good.



I could have written a lot if i had time.but as they say,the 'more you write the more you learn to write less'.....i'm not sure if i have learnt that but what the heck.....so my best wishes to everyone out there.wohi exam wala feeling...all the best,take good care!!!

A quiet week.....

Hello everybody!!!....hope you people are doing fine.i had a quiet week...i simply did not write because i did feel like writing.....a lot has happened in the past week though.......

1.I came to know that my masi is working in a project along with NASA and she probably will get an opportunity of an internship there next summer.the prospect left me day dreaming for a day.however the point is I will be trying to clear my semester exams from her place in Durgapur.that should say all it all i believe......after quite a while i am feeling ashamed of myself.


2.Football-Manchester United mauled Everton...with three goals from midfielders.That cheered me up a lot.However Ferguson's 'value for money' policy is beyond me.....i had a good LAN session against Aritra today.thats a welcome change.THIERRY HENRY IS NOT A CHEAT...its not surprising to see the reactions...i would have done the same had i been the sufferer.But i agree with Roy Keane and a lot others....it was instinctive and not deliberate.its one of those things we have done so many times on the field.aritra was spot on...had it been a friendly,no one would have given a second glance.Ireland should look at themselves...they missed sitters and the resulting ball should not have reached Henry in the first place.France is through and thats it.but my favourite striker definately has a tarnished image now.it would be unjust if he faced a ban.


3.Sachin Tendulkar-if i would have been al-qaeda i would have made sure that 'Bal' Thackeray survived not more than 24 hours after his reaction to the seemingly harmless "Mumbai belongs to all" comment.The man is piece of junk.i am not much of a politician...but he is sure clinging on to loose straws now.it would do Shiv Sena no good to criticize a national hero and icon.Sachin.......the more i see him the more awestruck i am.leaving his cricketing prowess aside,the way the man has carried himself for 20 years..is unbelievable.Hats off to you man!!!


4.i wen't to durgapur to give my vivas despite doctors advising me a bed rest.it wen't fine.today i had an unexpected sms chat sessions which has shot my spirits up unbelievably.


other than all this the week turned out to be quite uneventful and quiet to say the least.i did not manage to see any of the recently released movies that is more or less the talking point everywhere.sems are really closing in and its high time i get down some serious work otherwise this uneventful streak might be unwillingly cut off......

Fatal Depression...

I must say Robert Enke's(Germany's national squad Goalkeeper)... death.....suicide rather has come quite as a shock to me....and the opinions that his being a goalkeeper propelled him to do it is even more shocking!!....



I personally feel that football has got nothing to do with the tragic incident.....yes,..goalkeepers seldom get thier fair share....they are hugely underrated and always carry the extra burden of responsibility on thier shoulders.being a goalkeeper myself....i understand how depressing it gets sometimes when everyone points fingers at you.Goalkeepers are the unsung heroes always.....the busy and hectic schedule notwithstanding i believe its pretty ludicrous to blame the sport for Enke's premature death....such incidents are not a commonplace in football unlike cricket which has seen a few of such incidents where cricketers find it difficult to adjust to life outside the dressing room.


Enke had depression....that too acute...he first consulted a psychriatist in 2003....after losing his place in the Barcelona starting eleven...to be precise a loss against a second division side triggered his depression...he was severely blamed in that match.its quite understandable.if i could curse the hell out of a Ben Foster for letting in an easy goal....that too against the former champions...i don't blame the media for getting behind Enke,for losing to a second division side is considered a crime...sportsperson around the world learn to deal with criticism as they mature.....an Oliver Kahn did not commit suicide for a schoolboy error which handed Brazil the world cup...nor did Petr Cech for failing to grab the simplest of crosses in Czech Repuclic's painful loss to turkey....mental strength is one of the assets sportspersons around the globe esp. goalkeepers.....but let us spare a thought for Enke...he lost his 2 year old daughter Lara 3 years back....not without a reason either did he keep his doctors and his wife Teresa in the dark....he feared he might lose his adopted daughter Leila if the news of his illness were to come out.....i am sure Enke was mentally strong....without that he could not have made it to the topmost level especially as a goalkeeper....but i believe his tragic personal life finally got the better of him and forced him to jump infront of the moving train at Hanover.


i know its probably too glib to even scrutinize the causes of Enke's death....sportsmen arond the world are paid handsomely now...not without a reason...they are selected from a country of millions just because they are better than the rest....Enke's was probably a one off case...prompted by reasons that wen't far more deeper than football....so i think is pretty stupid for people to jump to too many conclusions.....Enke's death has left me searching for a lot of answers...i deeply mourn his death...and i also give my best wishes to Teresa and Leila....may God give them enough strength to bear the loss.........

There's always a tomorrow.....

wow...!!!...congratulations everybody....i am certain about something in my life atleast...that i am not going to pass my third semester exams.....the sequence of the events after lunch will make my stance clearer...i had my lunch...then i spent the whole afternoon finishing up my already read ludlum novel...."The Apocalypse Watch"....my hatred for nazis and thier scuzball 'fuhrer' increased ten-fold....to the point that i considered supporting the german football team...however,...i did manage not to make this whimsical decision...anyway,...then i sat with "analysis of signal waveforms "..in cicuit theory...ended up calling a pal at college as i was stuck in no time..."Fourier Series"...compounded my grief...it looked nothing short of zero-level maximum classified encrypted code to me....texted a good friend of mine regarding the same trash.....she hasn't replied since....i pity her.....she has been doing her best to get me out of the mess jaundice has put me into.....but i guess she will give up soon....haha......


there are so many things i try to do but i can't.....like since jaundice befriended me,everytime i connect to the internet i make it a point that i won't visit orkut...but all attempts have been futile till now....i had aritra online and he said he would come over.....this good news needed some celebration...so i closed my books and google'd some famous goalkeeping tips...and also read Michael Gray's blog....aritra came....and i showed him a video that gave a terrific assesment of the dissapearance of Flight 19...in 1945...(....one of the notable Bermuda Triangle incidents....).....we discussed life....then he left for a resturant...i could not have been happier.......and now i am wondering if i remember anything i studied in the morn......a little bit,yes........tomorrow i'll study,promise...............................

Mixed Fortunes....

today has been a day of mixed fortunes....my dear roommate filled me in with the wonderful information that our practicals are starting from the 24th of this month......i've never been more certain about failing to clear my exams for the first time in my life.....i had a troubled 10 mintutes contemplating all the possible outcomes....but then i was back to doing what i was best at....atleast now i haven't much of an option....."being lazy"...some thick-skin i am....really....


the good news was a far more cheerful one..the WBUT football tournament is possibly scheduled around march...so i would not miss it...and in all probability we will have another inter-year tournament...i am keeping my fingers crossed though.....meanwhile my best wishes for ex-chelsea current tottenham goalkeeper Carlo Cudicini....he owns a super-bike and has had an ugly crash...he has fractured both his wrists and also a pelvic bone....i wish him speedy recovery even though he might face the disiplinary comittee for breaching his contract which forbade him from riding his super-bike.......

with these two tournaments in hindsight....the world is suddenly seeming to be a much better place.....even though i know i would be proved wrong again as usual...anyway the semester exams in between........lets hope for the best!!!!!

USG...

I walked into the building starved,skeptic and ultra pissed off.......the television was on...they were showing animal planet....a dog was barking his ass off...i never felt more miserable....when suddenly out of nowhwhere i saw the tall lean figure of puspen....greeting me in his usual fashion...saved!!!...i could not have been happier.....


we were just chatting and puspen had just started giving a vivid description of one of the medical procedures in his college....."Suman Biswas......"....both of us wen't inside.......


a pleasant looking woman:"finish this off quickly....."...[hands me a bottle of water...]...
[we exchange glances.....and continue to chat....]
i hadn't eaten anything from morning on top of that i had to finish 1litre of pure water....i wasn't ultra pisssed off anymore....i was mega pissed off....

after 15 minutes....

woman:"you wan't to pee?"......
myself:"what????!!!!".......[i mean i was prepared but nothing like this....]...
woman:"do tell me when you are ready to pee...and finish it up quickly...."
myself:"i mean...i am not really........okay..."....[i was flabbergasted....i wasn't ultra pissed off anymore...i was scared....]
puspen:"you know...as a third person...its a bit weird and funny...a woman asking if you wanna pee...".....
[we break into laughter and begin to chat again......]


after 10 minutes...

woman:"you know you can just go for a walk....it will be easier then"...
[she was getting on my nerves now...i gave the coldest possible stare.....]
puspen:"ja...ja...make it quick..."...

[after 5 minutes...puspen was urging me to well...this will sound funny...tell the woman that i wanted to pee...]
myself:"mate...other forces of nature are starting to interfere....."....
puspen:"christ!!!...."....[a resigned look on his face......]
[after yet another 5 minutes....,i stood in the woman's way...unsure what to say...i gave a nod...]
woman:"what?"
myself:[every possible abuse known by me...]...under the tongue though...unable to bear any longer...."i wan't too pee...you hear that?...i think the pressure is sufficient...!!...
you want more?"...
woman:"okay okay...."....
she lead me inside............



yes,this was the lead up to my first ultrasonography....USG....as you see....the point is ultrasonography is done with your bladder full of 'you know what'...so you can guess now...the woman was the attendant....i knew beforehand but i wasn't prepared for something so awkward.....curses of jaundice you know...i had a succesfull session with the doc....and in the process i came to know from him that a girl from my college faced the same fate few days back....i resisted the urge to ask her name...lest.....whatever...however puspen's presence that day made the trip to "MEDICARE IMAGES"....much more eventful.....


i was supposed to finish up with 'AC BRIDGES'...this evening...ended up writing about my usg...my mom is shouting her head off now......have developed immunity against that though...its 9:30 PM now...before dad comes back i better pack up.......oh..just listened to a song from three days grace..."let it die".....the band is absolutely kickass.......


"its not fair when you say that i didn't try..."
"i just don't care about you anymore.............".....

A walk down the memory lane....(PART-2)

as i said in my previous post....St.Patricks...is still the place i love most...unlike many of my peers....who somehow started developing a disliking for the school as it is accomodating girls now....speaking as a patrician i hate,loathe and despise the idea.......and i honestly think the girls don't have it in them to carry forward the patrician spirit,certainly not!!....though,now i think it was a fair call....with Sodepur and Ukhra A.G.church....on the verge of closing down....come on guys lets spare a thought for the girls....even then,i would not hate my school for more than one reason.....

my years in ST.Patricks....were most cherished yet most difficult...no..i am not talking about..."i fell in love with a girl and then broke up".....kind of scenario....its far more than that...when i was in standard eight....my mom fell ill...'PEMPHIGUS VULGARIS'---an auto immune disorder quite similar to cancer except that the mortality is much less.....i would not go into the case history....she was wrongly treated in Kolkata...i hate the place...for a year....and as a last resort we turned to vellore...she's ok now...but medication continues as the disease is controllable...not curable... point is she has spent the better part of her life since then in Vellore....now she goes to Vellore twice a year for check up.........

i wasn't alone then......i had ST.Patricks,my grandma,Aritra Majumder and sports.....my grandma has been the one who has looked after me during my teens....she's the strongest person i have ever known....both physically and mentally.....i am not even qualified to idolise her....that should say it all....during all this while my alma mater has been my second home...or maybe the first...and with that has come support(i could not find a good enough adjective)....from aritra....its not hard to say that he was and is easily my best friend......with the sickness of my mom....i had three deaths in my family...all close to me and at an young age....at that time...aritra was there...always...he didn't console me...he never even talked about it....knowingly or unknowingly...cause it would not have done me any good.sympathy wasn't something i needed from him...my relatives made sure of that ...he talked about what i liked talking...English Premier League....and so on...my grandfather passed away...another blow for everybody with mom still not out of danger....aritra just said i rememeber...."everything will be okay...."as a matter-of-fact tone...again unknowingly maybe, but it did me a world of good...i needed somebody who would behave as if nothing had happened.....i hated coming back home from school those few years....lest i get another negative report from dad.....i would again go out for tuitions with aritra and come back again with a skeptic heart...i did not talk much when i was home.....i hated weekends for that short period...they were a torture....i did not have a computer then,or else i guess blogging would have started long ago.....

sports....football...cricket and table tennis...they played an unmatchable role...when i did not have

anybody around myself and aritra would go and practise cricket or football for hours.....our competition was fierce....be it sports or studies....he easily came out better in the latter case...but sports we were close.....people at college now give a shrug and laugh mockingly when i practise football alone...they do not know...my love for the sport has got a pretty strong base.....ICSE....mom was home now..in much better shape...i did not fail...89%...people kept telling me i could not have done better with the situation i was in....but i knew that was just an excuse....st.patricks,aritra,football,...my grandma...never left me any space to complain....yes..i do love my mother and i missed her but the people around me never let me feel it......st.patricks nurtured me...i used to feel at home strolling amidst the trees......walking down the boulevard...my plus two...i did have my parents around more often.....but st.Patricks...and evryone else associated were very much there....right behind me...

and so came that fateful day...our last day in school....we were leaving st.patricks...forever...no wonder i choked at the assembly for a moment....people generally while leaving school....are eager to see what lies ahead in life....but i did not care...whatever lied ahead could not be st.patricks...never....so when Ashim sang..."door jake tum mujhse....tum meri yaadon mein rehna....."...i could not hold myself any longer....i cried...for five straight minutes....and so did everyone there....moinak,raunaq,souvik,lodo,ashim....puspen i am not sure...aritra did not cry...he wasn't much emotional anyway...or even if he were he wouldn't show it....the juniors giggled and ponted fingers...i don't blame them...one day,son.......

and so we left...walking out through the very road shown in the pic...i felt a void and that hasn't been filled as yet....that evening after yet another harrowing chemistry test....mcq's....at tuition...puspen said quite casually..."see you on monday..."...he even walked a few steps....then stood by...."no more mondays mate"....i replied....old habits don't change.....St.patricks has left behind a lasting impression.....and even now when i am college where i am supposed to enjoy more.....i find my heart still aching for my alma mater................

there's one person whom i did not mention here...or could not...all i will say is "i still love you and i still miss you.......".....so much for being honest......