regret......

God...the sem has been horrible...setback after setback...trust broken...it's getting real tough now.i wouldn't even try and elaborate anything....it's just that i don't care anymore.blogging is seeming tiresome now and unless i feel like writing someday as today....i won't write.maybe i could have made the cut for the 6 member table tennis team to the sports fest in ism,dhanbad.....even though i never deserved it.my parents,as usual played spoilsport.it was just a week of missed classes and labs,which are insignificant anyway.i regret now that my dad took me to the field when i was a kid......guess it would have been easier if i were a bookworm and useless at anything else.....college sucks like anything and i loathe the place.....not my hostel though.....i have a strong urge to defaecatate everytime i reach the cursed place.....life's good........really......

resolution....

i have lost interest to write.it has been a gaming month in my college.i am the best FIFA player in hostel but nowhere near the best in college.....and these premature exits from the tournaments of things i love doing is killing me.


i won't write as i said.i have just set 4 basic goals for myself.....long term ones for a change..by the time i leave college i need to be the best table tennis player,the best goalkeeper, and the best FIFA 09 player in my college.....and i need a decent job too.i won't waste my time trying other sports.it's too late.i won't settle for anything but a first spot in the first 3 things.atleast i need something where i cannot be talked down to or out skilled by others.it's damn fucking important for me.

Reality Check.

i am really feeling like shit.i thought i was quite good at table tennis.i got a pretty rough reality check....i lost the singles and the doubles....both first round exits.i just need to improve,its as simple as that.i was circumspect and i thought of the after effects than concentrating and playing my natural game....i messed up with the smashes and just tried to keep the ball in rather than dictating terms and going for winners....which i would countlessly do in practise.in short,i lacked match temperament.i'll have to improve my game.



i played my second full field football match....this semester and i was feeling confident and good under the bars.i only conceded an own goal.i registered for FIFA 07 in our tech fest....i'm undefeated in hostel but they say the NIT's are something out of the book.lets see..........

MY NAME IS KHAN.

i am disgusted.....absolutely mega pissed off.i just wrote down my post for an hour and it has not been autosaved.techniocal glitches sala.anyway,so my post will become shorter.i watched MY NAME IS KHAN today and it was below my expectations.shahrukh acted like shahrukh and there was nothing extraordinary about it.the message was pretty plain and simple and it has been enacted before.it's unfair to compare this movie with 3 idiots as they have completely different story lines,but entertainment wise 3 idiots ramks much higher than this latest shahrukh khan flick.shahrukh kajol reunion was the spark in the movie and i think it was okay.i watched the second day second show and it did not have me rewinding the scenes time and again as 3 idiots did.however,i feel the movie made a perfect timing with the pot boiling over india australia rascist issues.....though i speak as a layman.these things perhaps don't affect bureaucratic and political relationships between nations.however i have a couple of friends who have dealt with these anti-muslim issues in life and maybe that has had me probing....however life recent has taught me not to probe much.


tomorrow is Valentine's day.curse the saint,really.i'm going back home for a day on a day when people of my age usually spend more time away from home.i just wish there had been a day when couples would stay inside and all single people would have a blast outside and really rejoice being single.bull's crap.........thats the first expression that occured to me.



our college has suddenly become lively..we just concluded our e week.it had a lot of activities.i auditioned the roadies part and it was fun.we also organised a small scale gaming competition which was a success of sorts.cricket tournament just got over while my wait for the football tournament continues.............we are also having near daily lan sessions in hostel.our group has also started designing posters for our fest.i had a near 3 hour table tennis practise one day and i haven't lost touch.we should have full field football matches tuesday onwards so i can really do some goalkeeping now.also we are planning to go to the ethical hacking workshop in ISM,dhanbad.hacking sure sounds fancy and it would be an interesting venture ahead....it's a busy schedule ahead....and i really need to open my text today....it's useless pre deciding in hostel but aal izz well i guess!!!!

Youth today are a selfish and confused lot....or are they?

"Every noble action is selfish. Some selfish actions are nobler than others. But they are all selfish. And as such there can be no action purely noble anyway. Even the nobility in God's great philosophical intentions is bounded by his vanity"..............

I came across this quote once i was in school....and it has stuck with me ever since.last week i happened to attend my first humanities class this semester.it was about group discussion.our teacher gave us the various topics such as pollution,impact of western culture and so on.ultimately a rather un-unanimous decision was taken and the here was the topic....."Youth today are a selfish and confused lot"......quite inexplicably pollution wasn't chosen because they thought it was 'common'....anyway......

My initial reaction was ......."you are dead right,lady........"....but then as i thought more deeply i flip sided.....as this is where i speak freely....i would like to point out that i hate comparisons....today is today and yesterday was yesterday....the word 'Generation gap'...to me is a misnomer.but still if i had to voice an opinion,..i would say an emphatic no.youth today definately aren't confused.to my peers, who contradict...i ask a simple question..."are you confused and selfish too then?".....if you are...then you must not be speaking.youth today are clever,more than our adults or others think.youth today are more of a bunch of do gooders than a group of self -obsessed knuckleheads.

For as long as human hair has turned gray, elders have looked at their successors and frowned. "Children nowadays are tyrants," goes an old quotation widely attributed to Socrates. "They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers." In 1855 a professor at Davidson College described college students as "indulged, petted, and uncontrolled at home … with an undisciplined mind, and an uncultivated heart, yet with exalted ideas of personal dignity, and a scowling contempt for lawful authority." Albert Einstein opined that while classrooms are many, "the number of young people who genuinely thirst after truth and justice is small."

i took the help of the internet to gather these opinions voiced by great people against youth.criticism of youth is inevitable,but so too is change.the world is changing,that too at a pretty fast rate.yes,there is a gadget today in every kids' pocket,but that is the world for you...the new world,the changing world...those who refuse to accept the changing youth,refuse to accept change....and the world would not wait for such people...."Survival of the fittest" is life's mantra now...nobody gives anybody an inch of space....and if the modern youth has to curb certain natural instincts to keep up then it should be understood...not branded as 'selfish and confused'.our ancestors did not have to cope with the kind of competition we have....infact,what is being unselfish?....i would like to know...doing a lot of social work?....or bubbling with patriotism?....i really don't know.nobody pulls up anybody and unless we prioritise things which meets our ends we may well end up starving to death.it's as simple as that...and if that is being selfish,so be it.i don't care.


right my friend shaswat interrupted me....and FIFA is a much more tempting option...haha...i believe i did not do complete justice to the topic....i could have put it better....but the very idea of calling my genre selfish and confused sounds ludicrous.....Manchester United toyed with Arsenal...these punctuations are a pain in the ass.....rooney and nani was fantastic...it was my first experience of following a match on match tracker and it was wierd but cool......anyway,i really need to sign off before shas showers his wild wrath over me...................

go united.....!!!

i am very happy today.....united beat city....3-1....thanks to wayne rooney.....this man has really done wonders...he's having his best season....he's no cristiano ronaldo and the best part is,he knows that and doesn't try to be one....no matter how much i despise tevez...he has done brilliantly too...he's scored thrice against united...some achievement.

i had my second day in college....this time of the day is very melancholic....if you are a hostelite and you have nothing to do...after college was done i slowly made my way back to the hostel....crossing the playground,the table tennis board and cursing jaundice hundred times over....i would usually be found at one of the two places now...but well,thats not an option now.college was boring as usual....except that i was called to solve a sum on the board...thermal lab sucked....


i watched 'pyar impossible' yesterday....it was an impossible movie....i mean the concept's really good.....but the reality is geeks bite the dust always and things don't even out as shown.but the movie was good entertainment.priyanka chopra was stunning...


my net subscription ends in about 4 days...and i'm considering extending it.though i'm not sure....monetary issues...i have to pay a fat fine for not returning my central library books in time.....i'll study today....atleast i'll flip through the pages....oh....i'm a bit less down today...it'll go,i know...if it doesn't in a hostel,then it won't ever....right,i am getting hungry now...lets see if i can push some more of that pathetic stuff down my throat.....

New Year Resolution.

i would sit down often and wonder what my new year resolution would be....when i was sitting in my hotel room in Vellore.....and everytime i would sit to think about it i would resign even before i started thinking because i know i wouldn't follow it....point is,it is not so easy to fool your mind as aamir khan points out in 3 idiots...so i decided that i wouldn't have anything in particular...instead i would try to bring wholesome changes in the way i see certain things....for instance i came to know just now that there would be no football tournament this year....i am not dissapointed.....i was for a while but it's ok...football won't take me anywhere.....i have to study...in a better way...i read the book 'It's not about the bike'....ny Lance Armstrong few days back....i was ashamed.i have got to make something meaningful out of my life.....no point fooling around...i would not say it to anybody....i'll try.....and one more thing.....i am done pretending....i would not pretend anymore and if that ruffles a few feathers....so be it...i don't care....i am filled with pessimism now....i don't know why....perhaps the long session ahead......or the initial feelings you get in a hostel after a three month break.....i would just take a walk right now.....maybe things would get better.........