bla bla blah 2..

there's something i forgot to mention in my last post....being really glad the way things have gone this semester...a large part if it goes to the fact that scars have healed between friends...atleast some part of it...close ones in hostel...never mind about college...i never really wanted a rift...i guess no one does....but ego plays it's bad part i suppose...save one person who has chosen to distance himself from our group....i don't really care,not anymore...he's making a mistake....girls' presence does complicate things....he's going to be succesful....god...i really hope so...and so are we...a couple of years later or so...but he will someday realise that this is not exactly something he really wanted.....i hope he reads this.....but i am least bothered as of now......true.
'harry potter and the deathly hallows part 1'...i had a nutty thought that i was going to wait for the 2nd part to release next july and watch them together....but 89 cinemas has worked wonders...it should be an awesome watch....united and wigan face off today...am glad it's a home game....we've already drawn more than last season and unless chelsea persistently keep screwing up as of last 2 weeks,chances look bleak....for one time screw you,cristiano....for the way you reacted....it was an super unbelievableohmygodhecan'tdothis piece of skill...but at that pace i guess nani just wanted to make sure it was at the back of the net...and didn't he play well the entire match....anyway,it's semester time again....and time for my bloody alarm clock to get active.....good luck to all....

bla bla bla blah..

i really loathe to write.but i will anyway.the semester has been good.less classes,more sport.less class,more importantly.representing my college and year in table tennis and football....IIT trip for the same reason...i have accomplished almost everything i wanted or everything i could in this zero support,zero interested college where sports is concerned.next semester i would concentrate on debate...somehow or the other i fail to participate in the debate competitions in college.i talked about my goals in a previous post during college...while i have achieved three of them,the fourth and most important one remains,getting a job.and i guess now i am going to work towards that.

i don't really wan't to study after this.money is sweetest.i know that.no one can talk me out of this.money ain't everything,but without it,life is nothing....so this coming 12 months is crucial for me,how i take things.i have found no luck with girls...but thats allright really..i am moving on...that is a great thing...finally i've realised i've achieved things that i loved doing in college without anyone,so i'm pretty sure i'll manage myself fine now....but i love you...that fact remains.it's just that i accept that it's not meant to be and so i move on...

good luck to united and england,nothing much more about them.....that's all....i'm gutted to write any further....

Summer break.

hi,my non-existent readers,hope you are doing fine.there are a lot of topics to write on,so i am going to do justice to all.

1.Training - i am a certified NTPC trainee now.'life in a metro' was terrific,and the fast and busy life really catches you.i still hate kolkata though.before i joined college,i often wondered how my college life would be.sucking,as college always is,probably,till now i have done everything i could have hoped for.a terrific hostel group,staying over at my roommate's place in delhi for a month training or no,improvement in table tennis and goalkeeping,and finally as i realised in the past month or so,i've found a soulmate in college.according to a friend of mine,"you get friends in college,not soulmates".well,i think,as of now,i have one.

2.World Cup - sub-standard,if not pathetic.sepp blatter would be laughing his ass of to have made more profit in this edition than the combined previous two,but football is in for a change.physical and tactical european style is taking over.the supremacy of european leagues attests the fact.spain had thier share of luck but so did every world cup winner.supporting england is a nightmare,but abandoning my favourite club or country is not me.lampard's goal allowed,and i believe the germans,brilliant as they were,would have found it difficult to stop the english juggernaut.

looks like i am halfway through college life,even before i realised it.i've grown,in many ways.but the weird thing is,i hate college.i would miss hostel,all my pals there,but college definately,is something i would not miss.i am playing table tennis 3 hours a day now,and the 4 month gap has made me rusty.i am playing lazy and sooner or later,i really need to work out.the prospect of going back to college is tiring,but so is life,and it is something i have to get used to,if i haven't already.........

Ronaldo or Messi?

no question these two are the greatest players at present.men who have changed games on their heads innumerable times for thier respective clubs in unmatchable fashion,paving thier way to unquestionable glory.so without beating around the bush i leapfrog to the debate,if there is one at all,on who's better.....THE little Argentine or THE man with the wink.

okay...bunk it....slamdunk...ronaldo is better...and by miles if not light years.messi has some distance to go.messi die-hard's would probably gangrape me.let's start with messi...he's got talent,skill,pace and with age by his side,all the ingredients to become possibly the best the world has ever seen....i would be a fool to deny it and even if i wanted to,i can't.but just look at the support the man has got...xavi,iniesta,abidal,yaya toure and upfront he's had eto'o and henry ....and he's got henry and ibrahamovic now to feed...possibly the best central defenders in the world and supported by two serious world class,top quality strikers...messi is good,even better with the team he's got.no wonder he's devoted his career to a club which paid for his hormonal treatment...messi is pure latin football...sleek pass dependent,not the most physical player you would see...the penetrating through balls from xavi and iniesta which more often than not finds him with only the goalkeeper at mercy.his finishing is immaculate...otherwise the debate would not have started.i don't remember messi physically overcoming a stiff challenge and powering a header in....or hitting free kicks with GOD-like consistency....his game is one dimensional...skillful no doubt..but tell you what put him in the Manchester United squad right now and he would struggle to score 20 goals a season...let alone 42.his game and style of football suits the Catalans and vice-versa.....and relax you messi whores...he's just a couple of seasons old.

now ronaldo....now the first thing about him is people question his commitment or ethics just by looking at him....his face.for the record he hasn't missed a single training session ever since he joined the RED DEVILS.....so no question about his devotion to the game.he got spotted at lisbon,came over to Manchester,conquered England and then he spotted Madrid...he's the champ...i'm not going to talk about his pace or skill....you would not even have to type the whole word in youtube and ample proof lies there.people say he's selfish...exactly....and that is what his opponents feared most...not his pace or skill....his ruthlessness,his carefree attitude with which he dessimated opponents....he could have had 20 shots off target in a match and nobody would dare look him in the eye....he had the aura of a champion...the reason i quite liked the champion australia cricket squad...teams were half done before the actually felt the turf.he would do what others would dream of...great players aren't afraid to try new things....he's an apt example....free kicks,headers,crosses,long range efforts,solo goals,one on one's....he mastered all...apart from best goalkeeper and best defender,i think he won everything.....he had good support but nothing world class....come on,he's conquered a league and here's a fact...he has had more shots on target in the la liga despite injuries than a certain lionel messi...i believe ronaldinho at his peak was better than messi as was thierry henry during his golden days with the Gunners....ronaldo has terrified all top clubs and has definately set a benchmark.he has conquered a league and has moved on to the next one.only time will tell.....but he's definately got better allround prowess than messi.




another tingling conflict in my blank mind....i think mourinho is the better coach.ferguson is the unbelievably close runner up....but portuguese,english,italian....three completely different styles of football...maybe that just gave jose the edge.....look who the judge is anyway.....another couple of hours without books....what the heck....

21st B'day.........

today is supposed to my birthday.....i never had such a birthday....b'days are somehow nothing special for me.....i figure it out as a day when i was just born.from childhood my birthdays have been pretty normal...so celebrations or extravagant costly gifts are odd for me....but you learn as you go in life.

this time around....i happened to be in hostel,my first home now...as it happened..twelve...and i got birthday bumps....rather hard ones that my ass is sore now.....but i loved it....i felt good with friends around me....so many hugging me....never had so many hugs before.....i also cut a simple cake and had chips and soft drinks...danced to trash music...with my friends and couple of others who also happened to come to earth on the same day....nothing costly,rich or cool about it.....just that at the end of it all i was happy....not feeling left out,isolated...my roommate,and other close friends were very much there allowing me to savour such moments.it's weird....so many of the guys i didn't care much about....maybe even in future i won't made my 21st birthday so special and someone i cared for most in college or even now i do....did not even wish me the entire day...you learn everyday and guess i have figured something out now....a big THANK YOU to everybody around me....you people rock and are fantastic.....!!!!!!


the song 'guilty' is on repeat in my laptop......"if loving you with all my heart's a crime.......and i'm guilty.".........

regret......

God...the sem has been horrible...setback after setback...trust broken...it's getting real tough now.i wouldn't even try and elaborate anything....it's just that i don't care anymore.blogging is seeming tiresome now and unless i feel like writing someday as today....i won't write.maybe i could have made the cut for the 6 member table tennis team to the sports fest in ism,dhanbad.....even though i never deserved it.my parents,as usual played spoilsport.it was just a week of missed classes and labs,which are insignificant anyway.i regret now that my dad took me to the field when i was a kid......guess it would have been easier if i were a bookworm and useless at anything else.....college sucks like anything and i loathe the place.....not my hostel though.....i have a strong urge to defaecatate everytime i reach the cursed place.....life's good........really......

resolution....

i have lost interest to write.it has been a gaming month in my college.i am the best FIFA player in hostel but nowhere near the best in college.....and these premature exits from the tournaments of things i love doing is killing me.


i won't write as i said.i have just set 4 basic goals for myself.....long term ones for a change..by the time i leave college i need to be the best table tennis player,the best goalkeeper, and the best FIFA 09 player in my college.....and i need a decent job too.i won't waste my time trying other sports.it's too late.i won't settle for anything but a first spot in the first 3 things.atleast i need something where i cannot be talked down to or out skilled by others.it's damn fucking important for me.

Reality Check.

i am really feeling like shit.i thought i was quite good at table tennis.i got a pretty rough reality check....i lost the singles and the doubles....both first round exits.i just need to improve,its as simple as that.i was circumspect and i thought of the after effects than concentrating and playing my natural game....i messed up with the smashes and just tried to keep the ball in rather than dictating terms and going for winners....which i would countlessly do in practise.in short,i lacked match temperament.i'll have to improve my game.



i played my second full field football match....this semester and i was feeling confident and good under the bars.i only conceded an own goal.i registered for FIFA 07 in our tech fest....i'm undefeated in hostel but they say the NIT's are something out of the book.lets see..........

MY NAME IS KHAN.

i am disgusted.....absolutely mega pissed off.i just wrote down my post for an hour and it has not been autosaved.techniocal glitches sala.anyway,so my post will become shorter.i watched MY NAME IS KHAN today and it was below my expectations.shahrukh acted like shahrukh and there was nothing extraordinary about it.the message was pretty plain and simple and it has been enacted before.it's unfair to compare this movie with 3 idiots as they have completely different story lines,but entertainment wise 3 idiots ramks much higher than this latest shahrukh khan flick.shahrukh kajol reunion was the spark in the movie and i think it was okay.i watched the second day second show and it did not have me rewinding the scenes time and again as 3 idiots did.however,i feel the movie made a perfect timing with the pot boiling over india australia rascist issues.....though i speak as a layman.these things perhaps don't affect bureaucratic and political relationships between nations.however i have a couple of friends who have dealt with these anti-muslim issues in life and maybe that has had me probing....however life recent has taught me not to probe much.


tomorrow is Valentine's day.curse the saint,really.i'm going back home for a day on a day when people of my age usually spend more time away from home.i just wish there had been a day when couples would stay inside and all single people would have a blast outside and really rejoice being single.bull's crap.........thats the first expression that occured to me.



our college has suddenly become lively..we just concluded our e week.it had a lot of activities.i auditioned the roadies part and it was fun.we also organised a small scale gaming competition which was a success of sorts.cricket tournament just got over while my wait for the football tournament continues.............we are also having near daily lan sessions in hostel.our group has also started designing posters for our fest.i had a near 3 hour table tennis practise one day and i haven't lost touch.we should have full field football matches tuesday onwards so i can really do some goalkeeping now.also we are planning to go to the ethical hacking workshop in ISM,dhanbad.hacking sure sounds fancy and it would be an interesting venture ahead....it's a busy schedule ahead....and i really need to open my text today....it's useless pre deciding in hostel but aal izz well i guess!!!!

Youth today are a selfish and confused lot....or are they?

"Every noble action is selfish. Some selfish actions are nobler than others. But they are all selfish. And as such there can be no action purely noble anyway. Even the nobility in God's great philosophical intentions is bounded by his vanity"..............

I came across this quote once i was in school....and it has stuck with me ever since.last week i happened to attend my first humanities class this semester.it was about group discussion.our teacher gave us the various topics such as pollution,impact of western culture and so on.ultimately a rather un-unanimous decision was taken and the here was the topic....."Youth today are a selfish and confused lot"......quite inexplicably pollution wasn't chosen because they thought it was 'common'....anyway......

My initial reaction was ......."you are dead right,lady........"....but then as i thought more deeply i flip sided.....as this is where i speak freely....i would like to point out that i hate comparisons....today is today and yesterday was yesterday....the word 'Generation gap'...to me is a misnomer.but still if i had to voice an opinion,..i would say an emphatic no.youth today definately aren't confused.to my peers, who contradict...i ask a simple question..."are you confused and selfish too then?".....if you are...then you must not be speaking.youth today are clever,more than our adults or others think.youth today are more of a bunch of do gooders than a group of self -obsessed knuckleheads.

For as long as human hair has turned gray, elders have looked at their successors and frowned. "Children nowadays are tyrants," goes an old quotation widely attributed to Socrates. "They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers." In 1855 a professor at Davidson College described college students as "indulged, petted, and uncontrolled at home … with an undisciplined mind, and an uncultivated heart, yet with exalted ideas of personal dignity, and a scowling contempt for lawful authority." Albert Einstein opined that while classrooms are many, "the number of young people who genuinely thirst after truth and justice is small."

i took the help of the internet to gather these opinions voiced by great people against youth.criticism of youth is inevitable,but so too is change.the world is changing,that too at a pretty fast rate.yes,there is a gadget today in every kids' pocket,but that is the world for you...the new world,the changing world...those who refuse to accept the changing youth,refuse to accept change....and the world would not wait for such people...."Survival of the fittest" is life's mantra now...nobody gives anybody an inch of space....and if the modern youth has to curb certain natural instincts to keep up then it should be understood...not branded as 'selfish and confused'.our ancestors did not have to cope with the kind of competition we have....infact,what is being unselfish?....i would like to know...doing a lot of social work?....or bubbling with patriotism?....i really don't know.nobody pulls up anybody and unless we prioritise things which meets our ends we may well end up starving to death.it's as simple as that...and if that is being selfish,so be it.i don't care.


right my friend shaswat interrupted me....and FIFA is a much more tempting option...haha...i believe i did not do complete justice to the topic....i could have put it better....but the very idea of calling my genre selfish and confused sounds ludicrous.....Manchester United toyed with Arsenal...these punctuations are a pain in the ass.....rooney and nani was fantastic...it was my first experience of following a match on match tracker and it was wierd but cool......anyway,i really need to sign off before shas showers his wild wrath over me...................

go united.....!!!

i am very happy today.....united beat city....3-1....thanks to wayne rooney.....this man has really done wonders...he's having his best season....he's no cristiano ronaldo and the best part is,he knows that and doesn't try to be one....no matter how much i despise tevez...he has done brilliantly too...he's scored thrice against united...some achievement.

i had my second day in college....this time of the day is very melancholic....if you are a hostelite and you have nothing to do...after college was done i slowly made my way back to the hostel....crossing the playground,the table tennis board and cursing jaundice hundred times over....i would usually be found at one of the two places now...but well,thats not an option now.college was boring as usual....except that i was called to solve a sum on the board...thermal lab sucked....


i watched 'pyar impossible' yesterday....it was an impossible movie....i mean the concept's really good.....but the reality is geeks bite the dust always and things don't even out as shown.but the movie was good entertainment.priyanka chopra was stunning...


my net subscription ends in about 4 days...and i'm considering extending it.though i'm not sure....monetary issues...i have to pay a fat fine for not returning my central library books in time.....i'll study today....atleast i'll flip through the pages....oh....i'm a bit less down today...it'll go,i know...if it doesn't in a hostel,then it won't ever....right,i am getting hungry now...lets see if i can push some more of that pathetic stuff down my throat.....

New Year Resolution.

i would sit down often and wonder what my new year resolution would be....when i was sitting in my hotel room in Vellore.....and everytime i would sit to think about it i would resign even before i started thinking because i know i wouldn't follow it....point is,it is not so easy to fool your mind as aamir khan points out in 3 idiots...so i decided that i wouldn't have anything in particular...instead i would try to bring wholesome changes in the way i see certain things....for instance i came to know just now that there would be no football tournament this year....i am not dissapointed.....i was for a while but it's ok...football won't take me anywhere.....i have to study...in a better way...i read the book 'It's not about the bike'....ny Lance Armstrong few days back....i was ashamed.i have got to make something meaningful out of my life.....no point fooling around...i would not say it to anybody....i'll try.....and one more thing.....i am done pretending....i would not pretend anymore and if that ruffles a few feathers....so be it...i don't care....i am filled with pessimism now....i don't know why....perhaps the long session ahead......or the initial feelings you get in a hostel after a three month break.....i would just take a walk right now.....maybe things would get better.........

Hi.......welcome back....

Sorry for my long absence from the blogging world....although i'm not too sure whom i need to apologise to......no one would read a shithead's blog....i came in to my hostel yesterday...i had my most complete holidays by far.....i wen't to see 3 idiots with aritra....i loved it...absolutely loved it notwithstanding the shitting presence of 'a couple' in front of us....then i wen't to Vellore,Bangalore,Kanyakumari,Rameswaram and Kerala....in a three week long trip....my best one yet...actually my only one...the other trips were while i was too small....i don't get whats the point anyway....

Kerala i liked the most anyway.....the backwaters were really soothing....and i'll give some free advice here....never go to beaches in kerela and goa with your parents because it can be a very frustrating and unsettling experience....having bikini clad girls all around you with your parents watching your every step....can be very frustrating...but the point is the trip all in all was brilliant....

i came back....i won't be explicit with names here....and i met her....the one time i get to see her in 6 months....for some reason she wasn't too enthusiastic about seeing me outside her place....so i took the long walk to her home....we had a 'pleasant' chat....which consisted of about 10 quarrels on 10 different subjects.....we chatted once....and texted often....now i am sitting here thinking about her......her dad even came to have a look at our college...i wish she weren't so far....my friends,all everybody who knows thinks i am a total shithead and moron to think the way i do....maybe they are right too....i way i think....in today's world they don't exist....i see everyone around me and i realize they are right....but i am what i am and i can't force thoughts....if that is being old fashioned and moronic.....so be it....but don't get me wrong....i am no devdas....i have moved on.....but i can't help myself....i'm sorry.....i love her and thats it...i expect nothing in return.she's my best friend yet.


One of the main reasons why i did not write all this while was that i did not have much time.....no..i'm being serious....i just did not have time....i would get up in the morning....and open my laptop with my brush in my hand...which would cause mom to howl at me....then i would have a 4 hour long lan session....afternoons i would rest and the evening it would be a bit of football in St.Vincents.....i would come back...grab a quick tiffin and race to aritra's place for carrom or lan again....it would have required an real blast of energy to sit to blog in this schedule...so i skipped it....


But this heavenly routine won't last forever....so here i am....back to Satyen Bose Hall of Residence,Durgapur....i started college today....i did the first half....and i didn't feel like going back to the fucked up place....again...so i am sitting here....staring out at the horizon from my window and blogging.....while most of my friends are busy entertaining thier 'special' mates......saare umr hum mar mar ke jeete hai.....